Portland Mercury: Blogtown, PDX

My Oregon Craft Beer Month: In Defense of Morning Beer

Patrick Alan Coleman — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 14:06:09 MST

Ladies and gentleman, it’s time to erase the stigma of the morning beer. For too long we’ve suffered beneath the yoke of mannered society. Well, I’m done yoking around! We’ve given in to the outrageous supposition that consuming alcoholic beverages before noon (or in extremis, 5 pm) is a sure sign of alcoholism; that if a reasonable adult, man or woman, tipples when the day is still new, they must be a slavering, hopeless alcoholic. We must refuse this characterization!

Why should it be more acceptable to quaff gallons of stimulating caffeine? Why should we begin our day with nervous shakes and quaking bowels? Why look towards our labors with anxiety? Is it not better to enter the world smiling, relaxed, and ebullient, ready to take on what challenges and responsibilities we face with a happy demeanor? I tell you, beer is the answer!

Do not get me wrong. The wise understand moderation in all things. I do not suggest we stumble drunkenly towards our morning commute. I merely suggest that a single glass of beer should be considered as useful as a multi-vitamin with our orange juice.

I implore you, dear readers. Pay no heed to those who would look down their nose at you for seeking the healthy balance of a morning draught. They are joyless people. We, however, seek the fullness of life. We seek joy and beauty. And isn’t the world more beautiful viewed through a lovely stout? Our ancestors knew this. Where have we gone wrong?

The world of the morning news is a world built by the anxious and afraid. Our world is one of camaraderie, peace, and boldness, brought about by beer. It’s morning somewhere brothers of brew and sisters of suds. Let’s raise a glass!

Now if you’ll just let me get down off of this soapbox…

This morning found me at the table with two slices of toast, two poached eggs, a strip of bacon, a cup of french-pressed Stumptown coffee, and a Hopworks Urban Brewery Seven Grain Survival stout.

Beer for breakfast? Beer for breakfast! After the jump.

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BREAKING: Tom Potter Announces Support for Adams Recall Campaign

Stephen Marc Beaudoin — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 12:28:46 MST

In what might go down as one of the most extraordinary political Facebook status updates in Portland history yet, moments ago former PDX mayor Tom Potter announced his support of the campaign to recall embattled mayor Sam Adams.

Aaaaand cut to the status update:

Tom Potter It's time for Portlanders to stand up and be counted regarding the recall of Sam Adams. It's easy to get a petition and get as many signatures as you can. Good government doesn't happen automatically, it requires an involved electorate. Get involved and recall Sam Adams!

Whoooooooa. Potter's stepping forward as a vocal supporter of the Adams recall is unquestionably the biggest game-changer yet in what has - so far, anyway - been a rickety recall campaign (aside from the hyper-active media coverage of recall spokesman Jasun Wurster's every comment and fashion faux pas). And don't forget: once upon a time, Potter and Adams were buddies on the Portland City Council during Potter's mayoral tenure, though their relationship soured during Potter's final months in charge (Potter opted to endorse mayoral candidate Sho Dozono over council-mate Adams during the primary election: Adams won in spite of this blow).

It seems Potter isn't alone in his vocal support of the Adams recall effort: his wife Karin Hansen has also announced - via Facebook, naturally - her support of the recall effort... alongside colorful commentary on the Cesar Chavez street re-naming process, throwing elbows to Adams along the way. Here are two recent updates from Hansen:

Karin Hansen has her petitions. Have you got yours? Go to http://www.citizenrecall.org/joomla/ for information on how to sign and/or how to collect signatures. We deserve a truthful City Council.

Aaaand...

Karin Hansen Setting the record straight (since The Oregonian can't...or won't...): Portland Bureau of Transportation and its commissioner-in-charge (Sam Adams) were responsible for setting up and monitoring BOTH processes in the street renaming, not just the most recent process. Put the turd in the appropriate pocket will you, please!

You heard the woman! Put the turd in the appropriate freaking pocket!

This has got to sting for Adams, whose supporters may already be conducting ~~push~~ polls to gauge or sway his public support after months of turmoil and drama. Do you think Adams will call Potter to plead for mercy from his former colleague? Does the recall support from Potter and Hansen matter much beyond being merely political bravado?

E-mails to Potter and Hansen haven't yet been returned; we'll be getting on the horn with recall campaign spokesman Wurster later today for his reaction.

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Captain Planet Cast Tryouts!

Sarah Mirk — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 11:12:13 MST

Who needs a cushy job on the cast of Leverage when you can be part of... a live action Captain Planet! Right here in your own backyard.

From Craigslist yesterday:

CAPTAIN PLANET LIVE ACTION (SE PORTLAND)
I'm working on a script for a live action movie/series of Captain Planet and the Planeteers. I already have an actor for Wheeler, Ma-Ti and Captain Planet. I will need people for the roles of Kwame, Gi, an Linka. I will also need other actors to play villians and other smaller roles. This will be a drama not a comedy so you will need to know how to act. We are planning on filming in about 3 months. There won't be any money in this. Let me know if you are interested.

Gi is from asia so she will need to be played by someone who at least looks Asian. Age should be around 24-26

Kwame is from Africa so he will need to be black. Flat top a bonus. Age 25-26
Linka is from the soviet union so blond hair blue eyes is needed age 24-26

Hat tip to my friend and Craigslist job-hunter Ayal.

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The Best Thing on the Internet That I Read Today.

Erik Henriksen — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 19:54:18 MST

Via the New York Post:

Superman, aka Maksim Katsnelson, 23, of The Bronx, was arrested and charged with assault and resisting arrested [sic], police said, accusing him of punching a female officer in the face while she was trying to subdue him.

And:

If that wasn't weird enough, McCormick turned and saw the Dark Knight handcuffed to a chair like a common villain.

"As this was happening, someone is like, 'It's Batman!' I turn around and there's Batman in handcuffs," he said.

That is all.

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Governor Vetoes Bill to Toll Existing 1-5 Bridge

Sarah Mirk — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 17:04:34 MST

Things get so crazy at the action-packed end of the legislative session that some big policy decisions slip through the cracks. Like this one: On June 24th, the Governor vetoed a little two-paragraph bill that would have directed the Oregon Department of Transportation to develop a framework and rate structure to begin tolling the existing 1-5 and 1-205 bridges to Vancouver by the first day of 2011.

If ODOT made tolls a reality by 2011, they could help raise some of the $4.2 billion needed to build the new 12-lane megabridge without having to dip too heavily into the state's General Fund. As I reported on this week, tolling is one of the touchiest subjects for the Columbia River Crossing (CRC) project, since commuters aren't happy about the idea of ponying up between two and eight dollars to drive across the river.

The governor explained in his veto statement (pdf) why he vetoed the bill, SB 580 (pdf):

I am pleased by our progress on the Columbia River Crossing, working in partnership with the State of Washington on this bi-state project. SB 580 imposes an artificial deadline that is not helpful and ultimately could be detrimental to the progress we've made. ... In fact, I don't believe that the project can happen without some tolling. However, mandating the date that toll rates must be set usurps the work of the PSC [Project Sponsors Council].

The bill was controversial in the legislature, where 22 House Reps voted against it—some who don't support the 12-lane CRC and some who do but think the idea of the legislature directing ODOT's tolling structure is out of line.

"Whether you’re for the bridge or against the bridge, tolling is going to be part of the funding solution for what to do with the bridge," says SE Portland Rep Jules Kopel Bailey. "It’s pretty surprising that the governor vetoed the bill because it’s a pretty simple bill that doesn’t put any handcuffs on. We could actually compel ODOT to come up with a tolling plan to reduce traffic on the current bridge. In the groundwork for doing that, they could develop the paper trail to show we don’t need to build such a gigantic bridge."

Fantastic money bridge! illo by Zack Soto.

Transportation Committee Chair Terry Beyer voted against the bill and was not surprised at the governor's veto. "I don’t think this bill moved us forward on the project and we didn’t need it. This would have put us a little out of sync with what Washington’s doing," Rep Beyer explains. "Washington isn’t quite as enthusiastic about tolling. The two states are co-operating on this project and the deadline piece might put a kink in our relationship."

Since the bill is now dead in the water, it will be up to the Oregon and Washington departments of transportation to hash out a tolling plan if they want to toll the bridge during or before the new CRC construction. Project sponsor's council member David Bragdon says that idea is still totally on the table. "All rational people know that tolling will have to be part of this project," he says.

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NYT Goes Bullshit-Free on Race & Queer Equality

Stephen Marc Beaudoin — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 16:13:00 MST

There's been a lot of shit-slinging - in California, Oregon, and elsewhere - about the role of race in divisions over the future of marriage equality for same-sex couples. CNN's infamous post Prop 8 polling suggested that 70 percent of African-American voters cast ballots supporting Prop 8 - a poll that caused serious ruptures and rumblings across the country.

But a piece just published this afternoon online in the New York Times raises serious new questions about these issues, as a major black civil rights organization is apparently trying to remove the Rev. Eric P. Lee - a supporter of marriage equality - as their Los Angeles chapter president simply because of his support for same-sex marriage.

From the NYT:

The Southern Christian Leadership Conference — the 50-year-old civil rights organization founded by the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and others — is seeking to remove the president of its Los Angeles chapter in response to his support of same-sex marriage in California.

During the battle last fall over Proposition 8, an amendment to the State Constitution that banned same-sex marriage, the chapter’s president, the Rev. Eric P. Lee, was more than a tangential figure for the opposition. He was front and center at an opposition group’s large rally at City Hall and marched in the blazing sun for 15 miles in Fresno. Many other local African-American pastors prepared mailings featuring church leaders in support of the proposition and linking their views to President Obama, then the Democratic nominee for president.

Umm... WTF?! Apparently laywers from the organization, dissatisfied with Lee's pro-equality stance, are threatening to remove him from his post. Read on...

Mr. Lee, the former pastor of In His Steps, an African-American Wesleyan Church in Los Angeles that he described as “very conservative,” said he saw failures both in the leadership of the conference (“Dr. King would be turning over in his grave right now,” he said) and the largely white anti-Proposition 8 movement that did not more actively seek the support of church-going African-Americans.

“The black church played a significant role in Proposition 8 passing,” he said. “The failure of the campaign was to presume that African-Americans would see this as a civil rights issue.”

This is all very interesting... in an interview with the Mercury's Matt Davis last May, prominent local African-American LGBT activist Craig Tyson said "I find it difficult to believe that the whole black community is against gay marriage." I agree with him: the "whole black community" may not be against gay marriage, just like the "whole Catholic community," the "whole straight community" or even the "whole Mormon community" may not be against marriage equality.

But it's disturbing to read that one of this country's cornerstone civil rights organizations, founded by no less than the founder of the modern civil rights movement, is moving swiftly to remove Rev. Lee as president simply because he supports marriage equality. Where does this leave the civil rights movement? Where does it leave us?

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DVD: Finally, a Superior Format to VHS!

Wm.� Steven Humphrey — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 16:12:03 MST

I don't know, guys… I realize these new "DVD machines" are expensive, but this commercial makes a very convincing argument!

Hat tips to Everything is Terrible!

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Voicebox to Karaoke All Night Long for Ethos

Will "the Intern" Radik — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 14:46:58 MST

Hey! Take a break from singing all that karaoke for your narcissistic pleasure and do it for a good cause! On September 24th, teams will pile into Voicebox to sing their asses off all night long for the benefit of Ethos, a music education non-profit. From now until the date of the event, singers will collect pledges to sponsor their team's three hour shift at the Raise Your Voice Karaoke Marathon.

Not only can you show all those other bitches that you rule the mic, now's your chance to prove you can make more money for non-profit music education, too! Ethos provides low cost private lessons and classes to students, to offset the effects of disappearing public music education. In some cases, they even provide instruments and financial aid for classes. Voicebox is Portland's only private karaoke venue. You and your friends can book a room and sing all night long without waiting for a bunch of other jerks or dealing with one of those asshole KJ's. (Hey. Wait a minute, I'm an asshole KJ!)

To register a team, donate or, get more info, go to the Raise Your Voice website.

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Today's Burning Question Burning Up Questionland!

Wm.� Steven Humphrey — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:39:21 MST

I'm being sexually propositioned via text. Should I do it?

Read all the arousing details, and submit your highly valued opinion in the land where all questions are answered, QUESTIONLAND!

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So Freaking Babies Can Get Away with Sexual Harassment, and I Can't? Wow, That's Great.

Wm.� Steven Humphrey — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:21:30 MST

Dear titty-obsessed baby:
I hope you don't think for one second that you're going to be able to get away with this shit in five years—let alone five months. Here's some advice that your skanky/hot mom is neglecting to tell you: NO MEANS NO… OKAY?!? You are also lucky that you're too young to grow a pervstache. Actually, you're lucky in a lot of ways. I hate you, you little rapey baby. I hate you for so many reasons.
Sincerely yours,
Wm. Steven Humphrey

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And the Metro Council Election Race Begins!

Sarah Mirk — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:03:15 MST

Remember back in April when I reported the gossip that Bob Stacey is planning a run for Metro president? Back then the 1000 Friends of Oregon Executive Director said he was merely "seeking advice from friends and colleagues" about whether to run for the seat currently held by David Bragdon. Well today it's confirmed on the Secretary of State's website: Bob Stacey has created a candidate committee for a metro prez run.

"I'm gonna be president!" — Bob Stacey.

And hot on the heels of Stacey's filing is another candidate: Duke Shepard, political director of the AFL-CIO, just created a candidate committee to run for a different metro council seat.

Update: Shepard's treasurer Kevin Neely says he's 99.9 percent sure that Shepard is running for the District One seat currently occupied by Rod Park. That seat covers part of East Portland, Troutdale, Fairview and Gresham.

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BREAKING NEWS! Sam Adams Document Avalanche! New Details on Texting.

Sarah Mirk — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:30:13 MST

Attorney General spokesman Tony Green just emailed out about 1,000 new pages of documents from the five-month long investigation of Sam Adams' relationship with Beau Breedlove. We'll update with new details as we wade through the piles of handwritten notes from interviews, drafts of the investigation report and evidence logs. For now, here's two interesting little finds, both relating to text messages:

1) When Beau met with Sam's lawyers on the morning of January 21st, they presented him a statement that left out any mention of kissing while under 18. Beau says he left the meeting and called Sam, who told him the kissing wasn't a crime. One part of the Attorney General's interview with Beau includes this little note:

Which reads: Breedlove advised Adams did make this loan however; the text message about the loans were used to cover / the loans was used to cover up the fact up the fact that they communicated by phone about the kissing incident.

And another note:

Which reads: Sam said he would send text in an attempt to cover for the phone call you made on break due to the question about what occurred prior to age 18. Leave a paper trail for the break.

But then the text messages (pdf) to and from Adams' phone don't show any text messages during the time Beau met with Adams' lawyers. Which means if Adams did say he would make a paper trail, he didn't follow through. Also interesting: the text message log shows Adams must have stayed up all night on January 20th—he's texting all the way till 5AM.

2) Check out the "stalking protective order" (pdf) Beau filed against Oregonian reporter Brent Walsh back in May. Beau claimed that Walsh threatened and harassed him via text message and made Beau fear for his personal safety by poisoning public opinion of Beau. Well, Beau's complaint reveals that Walsh only texted him a handful of times. Walsh sent a few texts on May 4th and two on May 26th but before that Walsh had not texted Beau since January 24th. Here's Beau's description of the texts from May 4th:

The courts wound up dismissing the stalking order.

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My Oregon Craft Beer Month: Adrift on Paulina Lake

Patrick Alan Coleman — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:01:37 MST

Maybe it’s label empathy, but I’ll be damned if I don’t want to be in a canoe right now, drifting in the water of Paulina Lake. But I’m not in a canoe. I don’t even own a canoe. I own a big beat-up purple couch named “wooly bully,” and that’s where I am, sipping a Paulina Lake Pilsner from Cascade Lakes Brewing, wishing I were in a canoe.

It’s strange. When I drink Fat Tire, I don’t necessarily want to ride a cruiser bicycle. When I drink Bud I have no desire whatsoever to mount a Clydesdale. So, why then, would I now want to be in a canoe? Could it really be the beer?

Out of the bottle this pilsner is wonderfully clear with a bright golden hue. It practically sparkles. The aroma is a bit understated, though there is a fresh, bright hint of hops set alongside the more dominant tones of malt. For the most part, the nose is very clean with a hint of dark malty depth. So far, I’m happy with the lake metaphor.

On the palate this pilsner starts out with significant upwelling of malty flavors. It reminds me of carob: a bit toasty, a bit chocolaty, but followed close behind by a hint of sourness that seats itself on the sides of the tongue.

This is my second noble hops beer in a row (after yesterdays Radiant), and in this particular pilsner the hops affect the beer subtly. The only real perceptible affect is a touch of pink grapefruit bitterness and a drier finish than other pils I’ve had. It’s not an overly sharp finish, coming on more like a dull kitchen knife than razor sharp boning knife. And this is where my lake metaphor bites the dust. Lets’ see… So it’s like eating carob next to a crystal clear lake while chopping pink grapefruit with a dull knife? Where’s my fucking canoe?

I like this beer. I like malty beers in general, but I like this one in particular because it has a nice effervescent quality that really balances the malty depth. However, and I can’t believe I’m actually typing this, I think this beer would be even better with more hops bite. That’s right. I said it. The guy who hasn’t been fond of hops would like more hops. I’m changing... Getting new urges… Starting to grow a beard… What the hell is happening to me!?

There would be a trade-off with more hops. As it is, the Cascade Lakes Brewing Paulina Lake Pilsner is ludicrously quaffable. More hops would make it less of a guzzling beer and more of a sipping beer. Currently, I could drink pint after pint after pint until I became so drunk I’d fall out of the canoe and drown. So maybe more hops could be seen as a safety feature? Or, maybe I could wear a life preserver.

Enough of this nonsense. I’ll just add one more thing: Paulina Lake pils would go very well with a nice herby grilled chicken. And that’s officially my first beer pairing recommendation ever.

The Cascade Lakes brew brings my total OCBM beer count to 17. I’ll end this post with links to favorites from previous posts. Hit the jump to explore more. As always, I encourage you to drink along, and share your thoughts in the comments.

My "Favorites So Far" After the Jump

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Recall Tips and the Potluck

Rachael the Unpaid News Intern — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 11:16:39 MST

In a backyard in North Portland last night, about three dozen supporters gathered around folding tables over the course of two hours to listen to Jasun Wurster describe the best way to gather legitimate signatures for their movement to recall Sam Adams.

“Most important is your safety,” Jasun began. I immediately imagined pro-Sam-ers throwing rotten tomatoes and slamming doors on volunteers’ fingers.

“Don’t get heatstroke. Stay hydrated.” Oh.

I looked around. There was Jasun, a twenty-something guy trying his damndest to make local government accountable, and then mostly middle-aged folks drinking beer and munching on hummus and pita (this was a potluck, after all). The younger folk consisted of a couple rugby players, who said, beers in hand, they came to “get educated.”

Recall campaign leader Jasun Wurster talks to volunteers about how to get petition signers to write the date correctly, among other things.

The highlight of the 20-minute training session was most definitely the discussion on dates. I had no idea that correct date form was so very, extremely, desperately important to the valid gathering of signatures, but was I ever wrong. The use of dashes versus slashes was covered (to be safe, use slashes), the use of zeroes before the date and month (irrelevant), spelling out the month (absolutely do not do EVER), and writing it European style with the date before the month (we’re in the USA, HEL-lo!). The signature is invalid if the date is written wrong. I came away feeling enlightened, but wondered whether discussing the date should have composed half the training session. It felt like being in high school again, when all the what-if questions came out when the teacher would assign an English essay.

One slightly-more-relevant topic covered was who they want to sign. “Go after Sam’s competency,” Jasun stressed. “This is about holding our elected officials accountable.”

So what if potential signers are vocal about their disapproval of Sam’s sexual orientation? “We don’t need their signatures,” Jasun said. “We don’t want them.”

“What about a don’t ask, don’t tell approach?” a volunteer asked. That question was ignored.

Almost everyone I talked to seemed genuinely upset about issues other than Adams’ sexuality, primarily that elected officials need to be held accountable to the truth.

“He willfully lied to get elected. He conducted an elaborate cover-up, and he played the homophobe card. This is about honesty and integrity in government,” volunteer Greg Halvorson said.

“I believe people should have an informed choice. If people understand his lies and still want him, that’s their decision,” Kitty Harmon, another volunteer, said.

Another hot topic was potential retribution against volunteers who may or may not have city/public jobs. Cough. But because of the sensitivity of said subject, no one would go on the record. The training session did, however, cover the fact that city employees cannot solicit signatures for the recall campaign on city property or while on the clock. Their advice? Take a coffee break.

-Rachael Marcus

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Rocket Boy

Andrew R Tonry — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 11:00:17 MST

Sure, he's playing tonight at Backspace, but I think the story of Rocket Boy and Egypt is compelling whether or not you're planning to attend the show. Have a look at the video I produced on the young, autistic musician:

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A classical music weekend that is NOT dull (promise!!)

Stephen Marc Beaudoin — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 09:11:40 MST

Does that guy look like a classical music composer to you? Well, does he?!? Because - surprise! (maybe) - he is.

His name is Mason Bates, he's all of 30 years old, and a new work of his is one of the highlights of what's turning out to be a pretty interesting weekend upcoming of classical music shows in PDX. Aside, of course, from the much-touted world premiere of "Maelstrom: A Zombie Opera" out at the IFCC - you've got three really fabulous nights of classical music performance in the weekend ahead that veer off into unusual territory (queer composers, little-heard lieder, that new work from young American composer Mason Bates, etc). Here's what's worth hearing this weekend, and where:

Friday, July 10: Chamber Music Northwest is well into the 3rd week of their annual summer mega-fest, and tonight's show ("Vintage 1826" - who comes up with these program titles??) features a titanic Beethoven string quartet, a brilliant Schubert rondo for violin and piano, a Mendelssohn quintet and a rare chance to hear some Mendelssohn songs for voice and piano. Alluring soprano Hyunah Yu - an ethereal presence in previous PDX appearances - is the one to listen for on this program (7:00 pm, First Congregational Church - tix here).

Saturday, July 11: Portland isn't known as a town for solo recitals (why is that?), but touring young cellist James Waldo touches down for a nicely programmed show at the Old Church (6:30 pm onward), featuring solo suites from Baroque meister J.S. Bach and formidable 20th century composer Benjamin Britten, with superlative pianist Janet Coleman partnering at the keyboard. Best news: admission is free!

Sunday, July 12: Eight pianists bang up 88 keys real good over the course of Portland Piano International's 10-day festival at the World Forestry Center. The opening Sunday program is a showcase for show-pony pianist Yeol Eum Son, recent Silver Medalist at the Van Cliburn competition (read: hot-shit-big-deal). In addition to pumping out the fireworks (Chopin, Liszt, Schumann), the pianist dares to program a work by that young American composer Mason Bates called "White Lies for Lomax," which sounds vaguely like a fragrance Elizabeth Taylor would design. Don't let that deter you. Tix are at 503-228-1388.

So - there you go! Yeah, you're welcome.

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Good Morning, News!!

Matt Davis — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 09:00:00 MST

GM OUT OF BANKRUPTCY!!! CEO says he's grateful for a "second chance."

AIG TO HAND OUT BONUSES!!! And why not.

LEVI: PALIN RESIGNED FOR THE MONEY!!! Father of Palin's grandkid says she "had talked about how nice it would be take some of this money people have been offering us and just run with it, and saying forget everything else." As if that's not the reason any conservative Republican does anything...

YOUNG REPUBLICAN LEADER LOLS AT RACISM!!! If I were Lars Larson this morning I'd shoot myself with the state of the GOP, were it not for all the money I was making. Wait. It's all about the money. That's right.

JACKSON IN CRYPT NEXT TO SANDRA DEE, BETTE DAVIS AND LIBERACE!!! He's in storage until the family quits arguing.

PELOSI NIXES JACKSON RESOLUTION IN CONGRESS!!! There's still the minor political problem of the alleged kiddy fiddling.

10 XANAX A NIGHT!!! Bloody hell, Jacko:

JUST LOOKING AT THIS PICTURE MAKES MY LIVER ACHE...

MURDOCH PAPERS FACE GOVERNMENT REVIEW!!! British hacks paid money to settle court cases alleging they hired private investigators to hack into the cell phone messages of numerous public figures, including Gwyneth Paltrow, Elle MacPherson, the deputy prime minister, and even aides to the royal family. "If that had happened I would know about it," Murdoch told Bloomberg News. Now, that's journalism: PLANT A FEW BUGS IN THE MAYOR'S OFFICE.

LANCE ARMSTRONG WANTS TO WEAR YELLOW AGAIN!!! He's .22 seconds from leading in the Tour de France.

DEMI MOORE IS 46!!! And looking great.

MORGAN FREEMAN CREEPS ME OUT!!! Christ.

MAYOR RUNNING ALLEGED PUSH POLLS??? We'll poke into this rumor and get back to you.

GAWKER REVENUE UP 35%!!! And with plans to restore bonuses for writers based on hit count. If Mercury writers were incentivized on this basis, you can bet a photo of Demi Moore would have replaced the Xanax up there.

Good day.

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Paulson Finds Big Soccer Its Missing $15million

Matt Davis — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 20:11:01 MST

RACHAEL MARCUS CONTRIBUTED REPORTING TO THIS POST...

The deal to bring Major League Soccer to Portland is back off life support for the time being, after the city took controversial urban renewal money off the table this afternoon as a means of plugging the $15million hole in the cost of renovations to PGE Park for Major League Soccer.

Timbers owner Merritt Paulson will plug the gap, with an $8million cash contribution, and a prepayment of $11.1million in rent and ticket taxes. Meanwhile the city will borrow $11.2million from its special "spectator fund," which is funded by a tax on ticket sales. If the cost of the construction overruns, the city will absorb up to $1million in costs, but Paulson will pay for all overruns beyond the initial $1million. The city will also pay a $700,000 "soft cost" by waiving certain development fees for the arena.

PAULSON: USING HIS MONEY, SHRINKING REDEVELOPMENT PLANS SLIGHTLY TO PLUG THE GAP...

Removing urban renewal money—which is supposed to be used to regenerate "blighted areas"—means a major barrier to public support of the $31million renovation cost is removed. Who knows: This reporter may even be inclined to be supportive, from now on.

Almost all the money for the deal comes from a private investor and spectator revenue. There appears to be very little risk to the city. Everyone on council seemed very agreeable to the new deal this afternoon, and of course, a bunch of Timbers fans showed up with their scarves.

City Commissioner Amanda Fritz said, "Clearly this is a much better deal for taxpayers." Both she and Commissioner Nick Fish say they need two weeks to look at the details of the plan before expressing support.

The city waived its usual competitive bidding process to go forward with the deal, but Commissioner Randy Leonard said that was okay because "we have a private sector partner with a lot of skin in the game."

Nick Fish asked Paulson about potentially bringing in a Major League women's team (Fish's daughter is a keen soccer player). "It's on my radar," Paulson said.

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Did You Know There's Such Thing as a Vulva Puppet?

Sarah Mirk — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 17:45:21 MST

Neither did I, until I bought this amazing book 1000 Extra/Ordinary Objects at a junk sale. I've never found such an educational procrastination tool.

The text reads:

Having trouble locating your clitoris (or your partner's)? Get a vulva puppet, a soft velvet and satin toy in striking colors. The package includes a detailed map of a woman's erogenous zones. Just US$75 could improve your sex life forever.

This water balloon looks innocuous until you read the description:

Weapon: In Burma, possessing a water balloon is prohibited by the State Peace and Development Council (punishment is a year in prison, actually throwing one warrants three years). Water balloons launched by slingshots can damage vision and inflict life-threatening injury. When researchers fired a water balloon at 40m per second at a stationary watermelon 14m away, the watermelon exploded.

WTF?! That sounds made up, right? I hope so, otherwise everyone in our throwing-water-balloons-at-trackstanders contest could have scored at least 15 or so years in Burmese prison.

Oh, also, the book has the most disturbing condom EVER SEEN BY HUMAN EYES on its back cover. That's below the cut.

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New Oregon Interview Series: The Film Edition

Marjorie Skinner — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 16:01:36 MST

The New Oregon Interview Series kicked off last month with the topic "Music," and up next on the 29th is "Film." I wasn't able to make it last month, and frankly won't be able to go this month, either, which kind of kills me because the series sounds really interesting to me in a super-indulgent, Portland-loves-talking-about-Portland kind of way, but also because the guests/interviewees are Andy Blubaugh, whose short film The Pull is a weird, emo look at two guys who try out a bitter experiment by giving their relationship an expiration date that is all bikes and split screens; Alissa Nicole Creamer, whose films I have never seen, I don't think, but she's a documentary filmmaker who travels the world to make films about cultural and humanitarian issues, which is a pretty sweet gig; and Arthur Bradford, whose How's Your News? makes me so happy I could cry. Here's a clip from the first episode aired on MTV (yes, MTV), and you can read more about it here, if you're not already in on it.

How's Your News? - MTV Shows

Anyway, like I said I'm bummed I can't go, but maybe you can: It's on the 29th at Urban Grind East, 7 pm, $5. Did anyone go last month? How was it?

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For the Love of God, Erika… DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN!!

Wm.� Steven Humphrey — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 13:43:21 MST

Though billed as "The Best Marriage Proposal in World History," trust me when I say IT IS NOT. In fact, you will be hard pressed to EVER see a more anus-cringing display of horrible, affected narcissism than on display in this video. I don't want to ruin the jaw-dropping fun, but let's just say it involves Disneyland, musical theater… and I'm sorry… a poor, unsuspecting girl named Erika who apparently has no idea that she will be condemned to a miserable. frustrated life of being this guy's beard.

Again… WOW.

Should I thank you, Videogum? I'm really not sure.

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"Wake up Wyden!" — Protest for Public Health Plan

Sarah Mirk — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 13:42:43 MST

Fifty people gathered outside the downtown federal building today during the lunching hour, shouting up to the fifth floor, “Wake up Wyden! Why are you hidin’?!” U.S. Senator Ron Wyden is not here in Portland today—right now he’s back in Washington, defending his health care plan to a finance committee that will be making major decisions this week about whether his and other healthcare plans up for debate are actually viable.

Wyden’s plan has roused the ire of health care reform groups for not including any public option, but he refuses to drop the idea and sign onto Obama's plan. “Lobbyists out! Americans in!” shouted the crowd, referencing the view that Wyden’s plan is shaped more by the desires of big pharma lobbyists than his constituents (a timely discussion given our “Rate the Lobbyists” feature this week). A MoveOn.org representative delivered Wyden’s secretary a 7,000-signature petition demanding a public option.

Waving hello to Wyden's office.

Marcia Spencer and sign-waving friends in front of the federal building.

Except for the few minutes of chanting, the crowd was pretty quiet for a protest. They had to lean in to hear the sordid stories of insurance companies told over a crackly megaphone. “House payment or health care?” asked Portland resident Marcia Spencer, after she says the cost of her two-person family health plan with Kaiser jumped from $724 to $1000 a month with no notice. “I felt like they were holding us hostage. Senators need to draw a line in the sand and represent the people who voted for them.”

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Win Tickets to Azure Ray!

Ezra Caraeff — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 13:36:36 MST

The ticket giveaway madness continues! If our other contest wasn't your cup of tea—surprisingly, militant hiphop isn't for everyone—then you'll want to win a pair of tickets to witness to gorgeous music of Azure Ray. Now back together, the duo will perform their first Portland show in about five years this Friday (that's tomorrow) at Mississippi Studios.

Click your way to End Hits for your chance to win...

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Junior Varsity Sports Trivia - Tonight!

Ezra Caraeff — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 12:30:28 MST

While the Blogtown trivia meetup is fun and all, there just aren't enough questions about Dale Sveum or God Shammgod to please this particular sports fan. Plus, this horrific waxy monstrosity haunts my dreams.

Thankfully Junior Varsity Sports Trivia will makes it's debut tonight at the Tanker (4825 SE Hawthorne).

Here's their description of this bi-weekly event:

It's Junior Varsity Sports Trivia because it's not super serious like other sports trivia. Actually, I'm not really sure if there is any sports trivia in Portland, or at least ones that don't have you sitting at a table and pressing an answer into a machine. I think people who like to read Deadspin (or similar sites) will be able to do well on this trivia and enjoy it.

The sports dorkery starts at 7:30pm. Hopefully I'll see you there, but beware of the all-star team I have assembled. We're like the 1972 Miami Dolphins of useless sports knowledge.

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Today's Burning Question Burning Up Questionland!

Wm.� Steven Humphrey — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 12:29:55 MST

Regarding: How do you mend a broken heart?

This question has been reposted… but this time with some sad, and important detail. Help is needed, and you can offer it… in Questionland!

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